Our son is just a few short weeks from his 1st big birthday and everyday I'm amazed at the things he's learning. Some things he has been "ahead" in accomplishing, some things "behind" and others just on time. That being said, it's clear no two babies are alike and one of the things I have grieved upon this whole motherhood adventure is constant conversation about what they are doing and when. I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked, "Is he doing this/that?" To which I'm often tempted to answer "no" even if he has been doing that something for weeks just to hear their reaction and/or move on to discussion about what he IS doing or even to discuss the joy of the moment. I guess this is quite a negative attitude toward a question I'm sure is asked very innocently and with sincere intention most often, but I just hate that it sets him on this conditional divide of is he or isn't he. In my heart, the very fact that he is at all is enough.
Every time he accomplishes something new and every developmentally explosive day he has, I find myself rich with joy and immediately thinking of the first person I can share this great news with. That of course 9 times out of 10 being his daddy! So yes, I understand the interest in his development and really appreciate that people care enough to ask, but for whatever reason (most likely just a heart issue of my own to wrinkle out) it just rubs me a little wrong. I guess because our experience has been that people like to ask if he is doing things far beyond his developmental ability, and I just want to look at them and say, "He's 11 months, not 11 years, you seriously think he could do that yet?!"
Okay, now that that rant/confessional is out... let me share with you all what he IS up to lately. I figure it's every mother's immediate right to find some amount of pride in what their genius/perfect precious baby boy is doing at the moment, so bare with me as I exercise my right! This of course being said with the great understanding and humble recognition that both he and I can do all things only because God has granted us that ability and not on any merit of our own.
Mr. Lincoln CAN...
* talk up a storm (pretty much nonstop all day until he gets tired, definitely fell far from the tree on this one!)
* point to something he is interested in
* use sign language for "more" which right now means both more and hungry (this sign and the distinction between the words/meanings are currently in the works)
* sit himself up from a laying position on this belly and back
* pull up and stand for a short amount of time
* crawl towards a desired object to retrieve it (wasn't sure if he would ever crawl or not!)
* clap when excited and/or when he sees others do so
* grab his ear when I say where are Lincoln's ears
* throw/roll back and forth with his balls
* dance with such concentration and intensity at the very first note he hears when music of any kind plays!
* and getting new teeth all the time it seems
Needless to say, I am quite entertained each day and find myself overwhelmed often at the great blessing I am in the midst of to stay home with him and raise and nurture him as his mommy. I completely understand and can sympathize with mothers who out of necessity must work just to provide for their families and grieve all that they miss out on while their children are under someone else's care. I must say though I do not understand the choice to place yourself and your child in that situation. I know the need for adult interaction, the cabin fever fear, the desire for great financial "opportunities" for your family from a 2nd income, etc., but as hard as I try I just can't reconcile any or all of those needs above the mighty weight of motherhood for myself. My intentions in even writing that "out loud" thought process is not meant with judgement and I pray it is not read as so (I have dear friends who make that choice). I am simply expressing my personal conviction and wrestle with the same battle within. It has and will continue to be difficult for us financially, but thanks to the Lord's molding of our hearts, both Luke and I have chosen this road over "things". All thanks and glory belong to Him alone for allowing us this road. And we press on...
No comments:
Post a Comment